nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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