so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Hello my rib-scented angel!
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
