seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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