They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
