I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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