my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
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I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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