WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
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