youre lurking in front of me
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
