So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
