we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
two words: eviction party
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
