thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize