We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
they need to just BURY HIM!
there was a trapeze. enough said
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Randomize
