My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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