Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
