Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
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