Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I just gift wrapped bread.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
