My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
