I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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