i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize