Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
