the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Drake has all the answers
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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