Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
