Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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