Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
