are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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