yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
