he shaved USA in his pubs
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I think my nap took me to another dimension
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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