loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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