i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
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