Fine. I'll sleep in my office
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
