Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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