Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize