This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
