i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
