I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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