i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
