need another drink. this is the easiest way
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
