Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
