I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
