just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
