Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
My penis needs a shock collar
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
