well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
