Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
