Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
