Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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