i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
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