he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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