Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
