did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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