Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
