does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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