Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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