He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
