SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
i black out too much to be "responsible"
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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