So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
