did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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