Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
