Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
