I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Dick very happy bro
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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