Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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