brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I'm so fucking centered right now
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
