2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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