My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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