Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
